Mapleaks shares an audio leak from Canadian Food Inspection Agency, re beef recall

Listen (1’39”) while following the transcript below

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Mapleaks, the strong Canadian arm of WikiLeaks, circulated an audio leak from the Canadian Food Inspection Agency, in regards to the biggest beef-recall in the Canadian history.  It is my understanding that the audio file was firstly sent to a handful of amateur Canadian podcasters, as they were trusted more than traditional media such as CBC Radio.

It is a classified telephone conversation between a group of concerned (yet confused) Canadian organic cows, and a CFIA call-center officer.

Mapleaks provided the transcript as well, a meritorious work, given the scarcity of fluent Chinglish-Cowglish translators.

Download mp3: Mapleaks CowInterview

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Transcript:

CFIA Agent: Canadian Food Inspection Agency! … (unintelligible Chinglish, along the lines of who the heck is calling on a Friday night just before closing)… Hi!

Cow 1: We’re a group of concerned Canadian cows. Can we ask you a question?

CFIA Agent: Yes, go ahead.

Cow 2: We are petrified by the E. Coli story.

CFIA Agent: So you’re kind of Consumer or Business?

Cow 3: Definitely consumed.

CFIA Agent: OK, may I see the province you’re calling from?

Cow 1: Mu-albertaaa.

CFIA Agent: OK, and what is your question?

Cows: We are worried that E. Coli is going to kill us.

CFIA Agent: You want to know if E. Coli is deadly for the cow?

Cow 1 (really frightened now): Yes!!!

CFIA Agent (lost): Aaaaaa … let me see, can you hold on?

Cow 1 (in a rare nostril dialect of Cowglish, while chewing comfort food):  A critical question for our race and he puts me on  hold …

CFIA agent: Thank you for holding. So the informations we have here do talk about E. Coli that could be deadly, some people may die through it; we’re talking about people with weak imune system or children that would be contaminated with food…

Cow 1: Stop talking about people! I asked you about COWS!!

CFIA Agent: There is no specific that says that this would be deadly for the cow.

COWS ALL TOGETHER: Yeeeeeessss!!! Say it again, I put you on speaker!

CFIA Agent: … no specific that says that this would be deadly for the cow.

COWS ALL TOGETHER: Yes!!!!!! Say it again, human!

CFIA Agent: … no specific that says that this would be deadly for the cow.

COWS ALL TOGETHER: (banging out the doors, in a sprint to spread the good news)

CFIA Agent: OK, thank you, bye.

** End of transcript** ** Confidential** ** Do not copy **

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CREDITS AND THANKS

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